Upon your arrival in heaven, you are met by Kim Kardashian's torso-less lower half. She (her speaking butt, that is) escorts you to a vast expanse of clear, baby blue ocean water. Upon this walkable ocean sit fields of infinite doors leading to infinitely themed parties and experiences. Behind each of these infinite doorways lies a scene with hidden party favors to improve angels' past thoughts, present being, and future endeavors. If you enter the cast iron door 18 miles ahead of you, you will discover a vibrant, animated environment in which Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead sit atop a butte, surrounded by acid-fruit bearing trees, absolutely jamming their righteous faces off. The songs inspire you to eat the fruit, and the fruit gives you great insight into your past lives. If you happen to go into the cherry red mahogany door 123 miles southeast, you will find a large circular buffet table with miniature giraffes serving hor d’oeuvres. Looking up, you will see 300 foot vine swings, swinging in every direction. A giant magician troll will entertain you as you drink the afterlife away. The magic here guides you to break the barriers of normalcy and live beyond what is ordinary in lives to come. One of my personal favorite parties is the one behind the glass door. Here, Mary Magdalene and her crew of strippers climb and dance upon pillars of jewels. Oeuvres of the most famous artists fill the sky. People race rhinos and ride eagles. Giant lava filled martini glasses tower overhead, overflowing onto the willing partygoers. As the lava spills over your being, you are given the ability to grock any past, present, or future soul. Every day, every doorway saves angels from boredom, one party at a time.